Sometimes I hear people say things like “I’m craving vegetables because my body is telling me I need them” or “I believe my mind is more at ease when I use coconut oil because I am clinically insane.” Like, you just have to listen to your body and it can tell.
But I do listen to my body. I listen to it when it demands poutine at 4am when I only woke up to have a wee (truth). I listen to it when it shouts “continue shovelling sugar directly from the sugar jar into your mouth!” Still, I’m human, and like other human beings I do not always take the time to listen to what my body asks of me. Sometimes I have to settle for a sandwich after hitting the loo in the middle of the night, and other times I spill so much sugar down my cleavage that it becomes too uncomfortable to continue the eating process.
The struggle is real.
I know goals are important because the internet and pop psychology told me they are, so recently I’m trying to listen to my body more when it is so in need of clean eating. This inward journey is much more difficult than it looks, as anyone who has practised [insert flowery and meaningless adjectives] self care would understand. As part of my new routine I have decided to set a goal to listen to my body’s demands to consume as much deep fried food as humanly possible.
Because when I am anxious and my body shudders to a halt by noon it has nothing to do with 12 hour work days, four hours of sleep, and any combination of approximately infinity other factors. It’s because of insufficient oil consumption, and the nutritional loss that a lack of deep fried food in a diet brings. From now on I will listen to this great temple, my body, and deep fry the hell out of life since FFS life is short so cut the B.S. already and eat stuff sometimes that tastes good.
VMarmite Battered Chickpea Fritters
Marmite adds a rich umami punch to the batter used in this easy recipe for chickpea fritters. Don’t fear deep frying, and no you do not need a deep fat fryer. In fact the best receptacle for frying is a cheap wok. Its shape means you use less oil and you can more easily avoid messy and painful splashes (especially if you have to flip what you’re frying).
- 100 millilitres water
- 1 tablespoon marmite
- 10 millilitres (2 teaspoons) soy sauce
- 30 grams (3 tablespoons) plain all purpose flour
- 60 grams (1/3 cup) rice flour
- 20 grams (2 tablespoons) corn flour
- ½ teaspoon baking powder
- One 400 gram tin chickpeas, drained
- Peanut, rapeseed (canola), or sunflower oil, for frying
- Chopped spring onions
- Extra Marmite
- Whisk water, Marmite, and soy sauce together (it will be sticky at first but it will dissolve after a minute). Whisk the rice flour in and set aside for ten minutes.
- After 10 minutes, add the plain flour, corn flour, and baking powder. Whisk to combine. Ditch the whisk, grab a spoon, and tip in the drained chickpeas. Mix until the chickpeas are coated (don’t worry if the batter seems a little thin).
- Heat at least one inch of oil to medium high heat. Test its temperature by dropping a small spoonful of batter into the oil. If it floats to the surface and sizzles, you’re good to go.
- Aim for about 3 tablespoons of chickpeas and batter per fritter (I use a heaped Japanese ramen ladle full), or a scant ¼ cup. You can fry multiple fritters at once, but avoid overcrowding the pan (unless you want soggy fritters), for 2-4 minutes, flipping if necessary to crisp and brown both sides until firm and golden. Remove and drain on kitchen paper.
- Serve immediately after drizzling the fritters with some extra marmite and sprinkling on some chopped spring onions.
- Author: Kip Dorrell
- Makes about 8 fritters.
- Cuisine: Deep fry love <3